


Bad Days Happen, Don't Let Them Beat You

by braytray



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Depression, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, M/M, Mental Illness, Supportive Magnus Bane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-14 18:12:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18057518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/braytray/pseuds/braytray
Summary: Alec has a bad day, and Magnus does what he can to help him.





	Bad Days Happen, Don't Let Them Beat You

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write about the side of depression no one seems to pay attention to. This is something I deal with on bad days that I felt like getting down on paper.

Alec is so _tired._

His phone has been buzzing for hours, he can hear it on his bedside table.  He knew he should roll over and check it, make sure it's not Magnus or Jace or Izzy needing something, but so far he hasn't been able to gather the energy.  He's so glad he works from home, because calling someone to take the day off was so out of the realm of possibility.  Even if he could get out of bed, he'd probably find himself in the same state, just on the couch instead of his bed.

So he let himself sink deeper into the mattress.

He didn't know how much time had passed, he had no view of a window or a clock.  It was disorienting.  It could have been all day or less than half an hour and he wouldn't be surprised either way.  The thought struck him that he hadn't eaten anything yet today, but it left as quickly as it came.

It was a difficult feeling to describe.  It was like he ran two marathons without stopping.  Or when he would pull all nighters during college to finish homework--but worse.  A kind of exhaustion that no amount of sleep would make go away.  He felt utterly useless.  He had a deadline to meet in a month on his most important project yet and he was here sitting in bed?  He thought himself pathetic.  He'd been having more days like this in a month, more than ever before.  At this rate, he'd never meet his deadline.  But there was nothing he could do about it.

He found himself falling asleep again.

* * *

 

The next time he woke, it was because someone was shaking his shoulder and calling his name. "Alexander?" He didn't have to look to know it was Magnus, no one else would ever use his full name.  He opened his eyes, Magnus was crouched by the bed with his chin resting on it.  He smiled sweetly, his face full of compassion and concern. "Hi, angel."

Magnus's hand caressed Alec's face and he spoke again. "Bad day?" Alec nodded, closing his eyes again.  He felt guilt building inside him.  The familiar roiling in his stomach made him wince.  This was always what happened.  After a full day, usually one of his siblings or Magnus would check on him, and when he was more aware he would remember the workload that was waiting for him. "Hey love, look at me, why don't you take a shower and we can watch Netflix, yeah?"

It was the absolute last thing Alec wanted to do, but he knew he would feel better tomorrow knowing he had at least done _something_.  He let Magnus coax him out of bed and shove him in the bathroom.  The shower took longer than usual, and when he was done, he put on a pair of clean sweatpants and a sweatshirt.  He made his way to the lounge and fell on the couch next to Magnus.  Alec laid his head on Magnus's shoulder, and felt an arm snaking around his shoulder.

Magnus put on a show, something mindless that neither of them cared about, but at least he was out of bed paying attention to something other than his self-loathing, and letting himself be taken care of.  It wasn't back to normal, but it was a step.

And consider all he had done lately was stay still, he would gladly do just steps.


End file.
